LOVE is a verb that you need to conjugate in your Relationship!

I was reminded recently by one of my mentors, the wonderful Esther Perel, that Love is a Verb and for those of you who might remember their school English, a verb is what they call a doing word, ie it means you have to do something, take action

‍

You can conjugate it actively in many tenses

‍

It is a Practice

‍

How you do this is by taking action in your relationship by a variety of means. 

‍

Here are some examples I can think of - 

‍

greeting each other, sharing podcasts or articles, keeping in touch with each other, communicating and then showing up, bringing home unexpected gifts, organising outings, helping with household chores, saying Thank You and I am sorry, when necessary, helping with family, making time for connection regularly so you can let each other know how you are feeling and I am sure you can think of many of your own!

‍

All these actions are ‘cushioning’ for your relationship.

‍

And when the ‘cushioning’ thins out and you have stopped doing some of the above, or the things you maybe used to do regularly that you both enjoyed, this means you have not been conjugating the verb LOVE.

‍

Love is not just a permanent state of enthusiasm that just exists!

‍

Let’s think about our practices around our business, ie particularly if you own your own business, or really love and enjoy your job.

‍

Now ask yourself this question -

‍

Do you know a single person who would treat their business the way that some people treat their relationship?

‍

Guess what?    The business would be dead!!

‍

Therefore the relationship would eventually be over

‍

And it does not just happen

‍

What happens is humans just stop doing, 

they stop taking action, 

they stop conjugating the verb LOVE!

‍

They stop saying, showing, feeling, giving, receiving, sharing, wanting, imagining and expressing

‍

You will know if this is you, especially if you are feeling any sense of irritation, resentment and annoyance with your partner, and you cannot quite put your finger on it!

‍

Maybe it is a good idea to check in with yourself and ask ‘Am I conjugating the verb LOVE in my relationship?’  

‍

Or it might feel appropriate to check in with your partner and see if they are up for you letting them know you read an article that resonated with you and how might they feel talking this over and even asking ‘Are we conjugating the verb LOVE in our relationship?’

‍