How to Reconnect

Are you feeling disconnected from your partner, because of busyness or you both just cannot seem to prioritise any intimacy?  

Or are you feeling that your partner just does not understand you, and definitely does not listen to you?

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It is good to remember that we all have different ways of communicating, and different ways of listening!

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Here is a simple practice to try (but it may take a few times to get the hang of it) We get very used to our partner’s ways of communicating, so this will help you both make the time to be present with each other.

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Ask if you can find a time that works for you both to have a chat on a subject you are curious about, and ask if they are up for it, or if you can come up with an agreed subject.

Agree on a length of  time to commit to.

Then ask if you can slow down the way you talk to each other! 

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Yeah it may feel weird, but by having a conversation about a particular subject, eg. I want to talk to you about our current sex life, I want to talk to you about my thoughts on marriage, I want to talk to you about how I have noticed you are these days, to name a few ideas.

What you are creating is setting it up cleanly so there is no hidden agenda and you both feel clear to show up.

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My suggestion is to start having your conversation and before the other person responds or talks on the agreed subject, you both take a moment and breathe 3 breaths together. 

Then whoever is speaking says what they want to say. And you go back and forward like this until you feel you have completed what you wanted to say. Then check in how did that feel for you?

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It gives your brain time to take in what it heard and respond with more presence. This will ultimately create connection and safety to speak more honestly with each other, if practised regularly

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