Easy communication practice to share your truth with each other!

Do you often think to yourself “I wish we could share something about our relationship with each other and it feels like it is not going to end up in an argument?

There is a simple way to do this ……

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First of all, ask your partner if they would be willing to have some dialogue about something that feels really important to you and that you would like to do the same for them 

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If their answer is affirmative, check in with each other to find a suitable time.

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Choose a topic together that you are curious about, or that you maybe struggling with as a couple, or even something you both notice is causing repetitive arguments.

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Once you have your topic, you are going to take turns to share.

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Decide who will ask the question and who will respond

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Put a timer on your phone - pick something between 3 to 7 minutes.  Make sure you both agree on the length of time

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You are going to use the following phrase - “What do you have on ….. (insert whatever the topic you have both agreed on)?

eg. 

What do you have on our lack of sex?

What do you have on our different libidos?

What do you have on the lack of connection lately?

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So one partner asks the question - What do you have on …….?

Remember - do not interrupt, do not change the question, do not answer, and do not get into any conversation during this process

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Before you answer might I suggest you check in with your body, your feelings and respond without any filter exactly how you are feeling, and what is coming up for you on this subject.  The less you filter yourself, even if something feels a little weird or strange, the more that you just voice it, the deeper your clarity around this topic will go

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When there is a pause in the flow of dialogue, the partner asking the question says ‘Thank you’ and repeats the question - What do you have on …..?

Continue to do this until the timer goes off.  Make sure your partner finishes what they are saying, that is do not cut them off!

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Then both thank each other

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Now switch roles and repeat the process

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At the end of the allotted time, you can share with each other how that felt for you, and perhaps what did you each learn as a couple about the topic.

It is important to be sensitive to creating some sense of safety for your partner. Even if you hear things you had not heard before, it is key that you let each speak openly and perhaps find a different time to question each other on what might have come up. For now just let your partner know you are grateful that they felt safe enough to speak their truth.

Once you have created this safety for honestly, it makes it easier to have more honest conversations, using a format like this to really gain clarity!

Enjoy!

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